Arizona 12 Step Recovery
"My name is Leanne and I am an alcoholic." Those were the last words I ever wanted to come out of my mouth. I was determined that I would never be a sober member of ANY 12 step fellowship. I was certain that I was different. I was convinced that I had just been the helpless victim of a very long streak of bad luck. I knew that if I could just learn to handle myself more appropriately then I would no longer drink like a sailor on leave. I tried moving to the U.S. Virgin Islands, surely paradise would inspire me to behave normally where alcohol was concerned. I went to countless 30 day treatment centers from which I would leave full of confidence and with prescriptions for anti-depressants. I was depressed! That was why I could not drink successfully!
I finally was able to cut down on my drinking by using illegal drugs. A white powdery substance turned out to be the answer I had been searching for to mitigate my excessive drinking. I was 26 years old when I realized I now had not only an alcohol problem but a massive drug addiction. As a result, I began to get really serious about seeking treatment. The next 30 day program I entered was going to work because I was determined! I willingly entered the T.A.U. Center in my home town of Baton Rouge in 1997. I REALLY listened this time in the lectures. I REALLY expressed my feelings this time in my small groups. I did everything asked of me while I was in the T.A.U. Center. I just didn’t get a sponsor and I just didn’t work the Twelve Steps when I got out. My using continued for five more years.
The last five years of my addiction were miserable. I hated myself for not being able to stop and for disappointing everyone who knew me. I wanted to stop but I was afraid of sobriety. I wanted sobriety but I was afraid of not using. This is the "Big Pickle" for many with the disease of addiction I later found out. The fear of continuing on a path of misery combined with the fear of not knowing what sobriety truly could be kept me in a tailspin for five long and depraved years.
In August of 2000 I was living in California with a man I had met in a Phoenix treatment center in 1998. Things were not good. On the afternoon of August 4, 2000 I woke up with a sense of total surrender. My heart, soul and mind all aligned around the fact that I could not go on living the way I was currently. It was my moment of clarity. I shipped the boyfriend out that day back to his home in South Carolina. I called the number of a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who had tried briefly to sponsor me while I was in treatment in Phoenix. I asked her what I needed to do and she replied "You need to come back to Phoenix and go to Crossroads for Women."
For the first time in my life I did not have a "better idea." For the first time in my life I just acted upon someone else’s advice without questioning it. I moved into Crossroads for Women on August 29, 2000. I began attended daily meetings and meeting with my sponsor twice a week while a resident at Crossroads for Women. I did the Twelve Step work because it was required by Crossroads. I blindly put my faith in the Crossroads program which was and still is Twelve Step based. I did my chore and made my bed daily. I found that by doing the simplest tasks required by Crossroads and by following suggestions my attitude and sobriety continue to mature and grow.
I completed the Twelve Steps in my first three months at Crossroads. I came to understand that my sobriety was not a race that I had to complete in 90 days so I could move into my own apartment. Sobriety is a process and the years of insanity did not correct themselves in just 3 months. I put no parameters on my life while I was a resident of Crossroads. I found an A.A. home group in my first month at Crossroads. I began sponsoring newcomers in my sixth month at Crossroads. I continued to remain open minded which my sponsor explained to me meant "Taking advice and trying a different action even if you don’t think it will work." I stayed a resident of Crossroads for Women until my support group told me I was ready to leave, not until I felt I was ready to leave. I moved out of my room at Midtown on July 30, 2001. My sobriety date has remained August 4, 2000 to this day. I incorporated the behaviors I had learned while living at Crossroads for Women after I moved out. My eleven months at Crossroads have turned into over six years of sober and successful living.
In December of 2006 I joined the Crossroads, Inc. team as a staff member at the Midtown location. In March of 2007 I was able to make the transition with Crossroads for Women into the new (and much bigger!) facility at 1632 E. Flower St. This is has been such a wonderful new job! I am grateful to Crossroads for Women for being an incredible resource to me during my years of sobriety. I continue to work the Twelve Steps just like I did during my first three months as a Crossroad’s resident. I even still make my bed everyday and clean my entire house at least once a week! Responsibility and accountability are no longer strangers in my life. I have come to realize that life does not have to be figured out, it just has to be lived. The Crossroads program taught me that I can not wait until I "feel" like taking an action but instead I just have to take the action and the right feelings will follow. The lessons I learned from Crossroads for Women still apply in my life today!
Crossroads, Inc. is a non-profit, drug and alcohol recovery, organization located in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Crossroads is a Level Four transitional facility licensed by the State of Arizona. The Crossroads program addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of alcoholism or drug addiction, by providing food, shelter, 12 step structure and discipline. We can help you find direction to sober living. Pick up the phone and call us: 602-279-2585. Visit our website at: http://sober360.com
I finally was able to cut down on my drinking by using illegal drugs. A white powdery substance turned out to be the answer I had been searching for to mitigate my excessive drinking. I was 26 years old when I realized I now had not only an alcohol problem but a massive drug addiction. As a result, I began to get really serious about seeking treatment. The next 30 day program I entered was going to work because I was determined! I willingly entered the T.A.U. Center in my home town of Baton Rouge in 1997. I REALLY listened this time in the lectures. I REALLY expressed my feelings this time in my small groups. I did everything asked of me while I was in the T.A.U. Center. I just didn’t get a sponsor and I just didn’t work the Twelve Steps when I got out. My using continued for five more years.
The last five years of my addiction were miserable. I hated myself for not being able to stop and for disappointing everyone who knew me. I wanted to stop but I was afraid of sobriety. I wanted sobriety but I was afraid of not using. This is the "Big Pickle" for many with the disease of addiction I later found out. The fear of continuing on a path of misery combined with the fear of not knowing what sobriety truly could be kept me in a tailspin for five long and depraved years.
In August of 2000 I was living in California with a man I had met in a Phoenix treatment center in 1998. Things were not good. On the afternoon of August 4, 2000 I woke up with a sense of total surrender. My heart, soul and mind all aligned around the fact that I could not go on living the way I was currently. It was my moment of clarity. I shipped the boyfriend out that day back to his home in South Carolina. I called the number of a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who had tried briefly to sponsor me while I was in treatment in Phoenix. I asked her what I needed to do and she replied "You need to come back to Phoenix and go to Crossroads for Women."
For the first time in my life I did not have a "better idea." For the first time in my life I just acted upon someone else’s advice without questioning it. I moved into Crossroads for Women on August 29, 2000. I began attended daily meetings and meeting with my sponsor twice a week while a resident at Crossroads for Women. I did the Twelve Step work because it was required by Crossroads. I blindly put my faith in the Crossroads program which was and still is Twelve Step based. I did my chore and made my bed daily. I found that by doing the simplest tasks required by Crossroads and by following suggestions my attitude and sobriety continue to mature and grow.
I completed the Twelve Steps in my first three months at Crossroads. I came to understand that my sobriety was not a race that I had to complete in 90 days so I could move into my own apartment. Sobriety is a process and the years of insanity did not correct themselves in just 3 months. I put no parameters on my life while I was a resident of Crossroads. I found an A.A. home group in my first month at Crossroads. I began sponsoring newcomers in my sixth month at Crossroads. I continued to remain open minded which my sponsor explained to me meant "Taking advice and trying a different action even if you don’t think it will work." I stayed a resident of Crossroads for Women until my support group told me I was ready to leave, not until I felt I was ready to leave. I moved out of my room at Midtown on July 30, 2001. My sobriety date has remained August 4, 2000 to this day. I incorporated the behaviors I had learned while living at Crossroads for Women after I moved out. My eleven months at Crossroads have turned into over six years of sober and successful living.
In December of 2006 I joined the Crossroads, Inc. team as a staff member at the Midtown location. In March of 2007 I was able to make the transition with Crossroads for Women into the new (and much bigger!) facility at 1632 E. Flower St. This is has been such a wonderful new job! I am grateful to Crossroads for Women for being an incredible resource to me during my years of sobriety. I continue to work the Twelve Steps just like I did during my first three months as a Crossroad’s resident. I even still make my bed everyday and clean my entire house at least once a week! Responsibility and accountability are no longer strangers in my life. I have come to realize that life does not have to be figured out, it just has to be lived. The Crossroads program taught me that I can not wait until I "feel" like taking an action but instead I just have to take the action and the right feelings will follow. The lessons I learned from Crossroads for Women still apply in my life today!
Crossroads, Inc. is a non-profit, drug and alcohol recovery, organization located in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Crossroads is a Level Four transitional facility licensed by the State of Arizona. The Crossroads program addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of alcoholism or drug addiction, by providing food, shelter, 12 step structure and discipline. We can help you find direction to sober living. Pick up the phone and call us: 602-279-2585. Visit our website at: http://sober360.com
Labels: Arizona 12 Step Recovery
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