Minus faith, there is no life, only existence.
While in my disease, all I had was existence. I relinquished what little faith I did have in God for the love and caress of the drink. I had open the door to a living hell and stepped in a willing participant. There I stayed no matter what the cost to my family, my career, or even myself. I could not see the way out because I was participating in my own death, my own failure, and my own human weakness. The more I longed for a way to get out and hide from situations that hurt me emotionally and spiritually, the deeper I traveled towards the abyss of just existing.
During my internship of human failure and detachment of life, I found it hard to believe in anything divine such as angels or mercy. Spiritually drained and emotionally beaten, mercy found me anyway. My angel saw the struggle that I had between life and death. That day was the turning point of this tortured soul’s journey towards recovery. My human nature wanted to stay with my companion alcohol, but my spiritual nature had had enough. Where I had no hope, no faith, and no willpower of my own the merciful hand of God reached in my hell and saved me.
Equipped with only a half-hearted spiritual desire to change and a willingness to stop the pain in my life; I had to acknowledge and most importantly, accepted I had a serious problem with alcohol during my life. I found guidance and help with my turmoil in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I found a God that I now understand. I partnered with my God and a spiritually strong sponsor to go through the steps. Through prayer and meditation I find strength, courage, and faith that surpass my own understanding.
I no longer have to just exist, I live. I don’t have to control anything, however, I have hope. My life is not steak and roses – if it is, the steak has rocks on it and the roses have permanent thorns. Faith is a key to successfully working my program in AA. For some of us faith comes easily. Others of us, myself, that have experienced betrayal, faith is a struggle.
Today, it is still easy to lose faith when I get troubled or burdened with life. There are days I feel like faith has just slipped away. Those are the days I feel anger towards God and my fears escalate. I stay sober for myself; however, I’ve dedicated my sobriety to my daughter, family, and friends that endured the pain of my disease. We shouldn’t be surprised that we face times when our faith seems to disappear; I view it as a test of fire. In order to make a diamond you will need a lot of heat.
Prescilla P.,
DOS 9/25/04
Crossroads, Inc. is a non-profit, drug and alcohol recovery, organization located in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Crossroads is a Level Four transitional facility licensed by the State of Arizona. The Crossroads program addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of alcoholism or drug addiction, by providing food, shelter, 12 step structure and discipline. We can help you find direction to sober living. Pick up the phone and call us: 602-279-2585. Visit our website at: http://sober360.com
During my internship of human failure and detachment of life, I found it hard to believe in anything divine such as angels or mercy. Spiritually drained and emotionally beaten, mercy found me anyway. My angel saw the struggle that I had between life and death. That day was the turning point of this tortured soul’s journey towards recovery. My human nature wanted to stay with my companion alcohol, but my spiritual nature had had enough. Where I had no hope, no faith, and no willpower of my own the merciful hand of God reached in my hell and saved me.
Equipped with only a half-hearted spiritual desire to change and a willingness to stop the pain in my life; I had to acknowledge and most importantly, accepted I had a serious problem with alcohol during my life. I found guidance and help with my turmoil in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I found a God that I now understand. I partnered with my God and a spiritually strong sponsor to go through the steps. Through prayer and meditation I find strength, courage, and faith that surpass my own understanding.
I no longer have to just exist, I live. I don’t have to control anything, however, I have hope. My life is not steak and roses – if it is, the steak has rocks on it and the roses have permanent thorns. Faith is a key to successfully working my program in AA. For some of us faith comes easily. Others of us, myself, that have experienced betrayal, faith is a struggle.
Today, it is still easy to lose faith when I get troubled or burdened with life. There are days I feel like faith has just slipped away. Those are the days I feel anger towards God and my fears escalate. I stay sober for myself; however, I’ve dedicated my sobriety to my daughter, family, and friends that endured the pain of my disease. We shouldn’t be surprised that we face times when our faith seems to disappear; I view it as a test of fire. In order to make a diamond you will need a lot of heat.
Prescilla P.,
DOS 9/25/04
Crossroads, Inc. is a non-profit, drug and alcohol recovery, organization located in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Crossroads is a Level Four transitional facility licensed by the State of Arizona. The Crossroads program addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of alcoholism or drug addiction, by providing food, shelter, 12 step structure and discipline. We can help you find direction to sober living. Pick up the phone and call us: 602-279-2585. Visit our website at: http://sober360.com
posted by Prescilla at
6:15 AM
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