Phoenix Alcoholics Anonymous - A Spiritual Analysis

My name is Robin and I am an alcoholic. I am not a Christian. I never was. My parents were free-thinkers and intellectuals and I was raised outside the church. I've never been to church in my life. My dad was a WWII combat veteran who suffered from post traumatic stress disorder; he didn't believe in God. As a young child, I asked my dad why we didn't go to church and he replied: "I am raising you pagan." I went to school and told them I was being raised a pagan; this was Iowa, forty years ago.

I celebrated ten years clean-and-sober last month. As my sobriety has evolved, I have been coming to grips with the spiritual aspect of the AA program. Over this last ten years I have been, slowly, moving toward a spiritual awakening. I'm not there yet but I'm going to talk about some of my progression.

Alcoholics Anonymous was born out of the quest for a spiritual experience. It was used as a tool to try and bring about, what was known as a "vital spiritual experience". It was thought that this "vital spiritual experience" was the only way to rid the demon-rum from those afflicted. This stemmed from an encounter that an alcoholic, named Rowland Hazard had with (even then) world-famous Psychiatrist Dr. Carl Gustav Jung in 1931. Hazard had traveled all the way to Switzerland seeking treatment from Jung.

On page twenty-six of the Big Book was an excerpt from Dr. Jung's own notes regarding Rowland Hazard:
"For years he had floundered from one sanitarium to another. He had consulted the bestknown American psychiatrists."

Upon treating Mr. Hazard Jung concluded that Rowland's insatiable drinking stemmed from a lack of spirituality in his life or his seeking a spiritual experience. This is illustrated from a quote by Jung in a 1961 letter to Bill W.:
"His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God."

Dr. Jung told Rowland Hazard that his affliction was untreatable by his methods but suggested that he seek a "spiritual experience". Jung told him to go to church. This reminds me of the film, The Exorcist, where the best doctors in Boston tell Regan's mother to go to a church. Apparently, Rowland Hazard was willing to go to any lengths because he went back to the United States and joined the Oxford Group.

The Oxford Group was a Christian fellowship that believed in taking action to "wipe the slate clean" of an individual's life so as to allow for a spiritual experience to occur. They had Ten Steps that the person followed to accomplish that. Rowland dove into this and stopped drinking. Rowland's story is the key to the beginnings of AA.

It was in 1934 that Rowland Hazard was at home in Shaftsbury, VT. There he learned of a man, named Ebby Thatcher, sentenced to six months in jail for repeated drunkenness. This is the famous "Ebby T." out of Bill's Story. Mr. Hazard went before the Judge and petitioned to have Ebby bound over to him. Rowland then took Ebby T. to New York City for "treatment". This was how Ebby "got religion" and carried the message to Bill W.

Much has been written about Ebby's interaction with Bill and the start of Alcoholics Anonymous. However, not much is known about Rowland's and Bill's relationship. It is certain that they knew each other. It is thought that Rowland Hazard was the one that gave Bill a copy of William James', The Varieties of Religious Experience.

I've done things like inject cocaine and take powerful liquid LSD. Was it because I was seeking a spiritual experience? Was it because I was lacking a connection with the Divine in my life?

One problem that I have with the Judean-Christian belief system is that (to me) it seems really caught up in getting inside your mind. They want to know what you're thinking. Not only that but you should be consumed with guilt over having "impure thoughts".

If the Jews and Christians are so worried about what's rattling around in my mind where are the rules? Where is the darn guidebook? Some people might say that this is the Ten Commandments; we have the Ten Commandments.

We do not "have" the Ten Commandments. The Bible itself states that the Ten Commandments are impossible to follow because we are already guilty. We have this thing know as "original sin" dogging us down. It is impossible for us to follow the Ten Commandments because of it. Therefore, God had to come down himself and be born as a man. This man (Jesus Christ), took upon himself all of the punishment in the world for our original sin; the failure to follow God's original directive. All we need to do is recognize Christ for this and we are "saved". Look man, I don't want to be "saved" when I die. I want to stop drinking and drugging in this life. I want to live a good life now.

I think that the basic flaw for me here is that it assumes that intent always precedes action; one must *think* a thought before one can act upon it. Under this, when a person asks: "How do I be a righteous person?" the answer is always: "Think righteous thoughts." My question is how do I "think righteous thoughts" if I haven't a friggin' clue? To me, it's crazy.

Other belief systems, not based upon the Judean-Christian model, don't see intent always preceding action. These would be some of the Eastern religions and "primitive" belief systems of the hunter-gatherer societies. They see action as bringing about intent, or new thought. Under these belief systems when asked: "How do I be a righteous person?" they might reply: "You see how a righteous person acts, act like that." This makes complete sense to me. I am not going to *think* my way into the Kingdom of Heaven; I am going to act my way into it.

However it happened, Rowland Hazard tapped into a belief system that was based upon taking action. This was transferred to Ebby Thatcher who gave it to Bill W. When I attend Phoenix Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in 2007, it blows my mind how it all began.

"Therefore nothing can matter more to the future welfare of AA than the manner in which we use this colossus of communication. Used unselfishly and well, the results can surpass present imagination."
-Bill W., AA Grapevine 1960